Discipline your child
Child discipline is a topic that has seen quite a lot of different views and changes over the last few generations. While most people's parents might have got the odd hiding while they were young, it is now considered taboo for a parent to raise a hand to their child.
Parents do need to realise that discipline is necessary. It helps children to distinguish between right and wrong. However, discipline should also be handled with careful thought and planning, and not in anger. Parents shouldn't over-do it as the cost of their actions may be crueler than they realise. There is a difference between discipline and abuse and by trying the following tips; frustrated parents may have an easier time getting their children to behave.
Make yourself clear when asking your child to behave
Always try talking to your children before considering any other form of discipline. Make sure that you are clear and that your children understand what you mean when you ask them to behave. Be specific about what is annoying you e.g. if your young child's room is untidy, don't say "Go clean up your room, it's a mess!" Rather explain how they should clean up in short, easy to understand steps.
Shouting is not a good way to communicate with children. They may either ignore you, be afraid, or be distracted by whatever it is they are doing. When speaking to your child, lower yourself down to their level by crouching and speak to them while looking them in the eye. Not only can they not pretend to have not heard you but it also shows that you are willing to talk to them in spite of their misbehaviour. Remember that eye contact is essential when speaking to your children.
Teamwork works best
When setting the rules in your home, try to get your child involved about what should or should not be expected of them. Not only will it help them feel more important but it will also get your child to respect the rules. Be sure that your child realises what punishments they could face if they misbehave but remember that guidance is more effective in the long term than discipline.
Choose the proper kind of discipline according to a child's age and development
As children get older, some forms of discipline may stop working. When they are toddlers, all it takes to stop them from doing something wrong would be to shake your head or warn them with a firm voice. For an older child, try the following:
- Take away privileges like toys
- Take away the privilege to watch TV
- Take away the privilege to play computer games/ Playstation, Wii/ X-Box etc.
- Ground them for a period of time
Never change your own rules
Children are much smarter than parents seem to think and can pick up whether or not what you say is serious. The second you start to bend the rules you can be sure that your children will take advantage of that and you might have a harder time disciplining them as a result. So be consistent!
Have a family meeting
In the case of older children, try to get your family together for a group discussion about their behaviour. Make sure that everyone has a chance to say how they feel and that there is a clear plan about what needs to be discussed. Be objective and fair, and do not let this become a session of accusation and recriminations. The child being reprimanded should always know how loved they are, regardless of the severity of the problem.
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Last Update: 06 November 2011
