Promise Mthembu is an HIV/AIDS activist who was born in 1975.  She is currently working with the International Community of Women Living with HIV/AIDS as a Global Advocacy Officer for Sexual and Reproductive rights.  She has co-founded and coordinated the Young Positive Living Ambassadors Programme. These programmes aim at addressing human rights and gender issues affecting youth living with HIV/Aids and also the mainstreaming HIV in youth development work. She also worked with the Treatment Action Campaign (TAC) of South Africa as a Coordinator of the Prevention of Mother To Child Transmission Programme.

Promise Mthembu found that she is HIV positive when she went for a tuberculosis (TB) check-up at the local clinic when she turned twenty years old. Promise thinks she was infected when she was about 15 years old when she got pregnant with her daughter, who is also HIV positive. The doctors believe that the child was infected through birth. Promise agreed to be tested for HIV when she was still pregnant and she never thought that the results would be positive. When she got the results she was shocked and angry, as she was dating only one partner. It was not easy for Promise to come to terms with her status.

It was very difficult for her to disclose her HIV status to friends and family and Promise kept it in her heart for some time - trying to answer all the questions she had about this disease. She accepted the fact that she was HIV-positive and there was nothing she could do to change the situation. Promise eventually told her partner and her family, However, her partner was shocked and found it hard to believe but her family was supportive when they heard the news.

Promise was still angry with the disease and through her anger she attended AIDS meetings to find out more about HIV. She wanted to change the way HIV/AIDS work was being done in her community. She believed that if HIV/AIDS awareness was done better and working, she would not have been infected with the virus.

She began to speak openly about living with HIV in an effort to prevent others from becoming infected. The stigmas that is attached to the disease made her parents become unhappy when she speaks openly about living with HIV. They thought that it will bring shame to the family as Promise was now advocating for greater awareness of HIV/AIDS.

Promise never got any form of support from her partner, who was also infected, but instead got his anger which resulted in an abusive relationship. The abuse began growing daily. He would beat her because he was HIV-positive which made him frustrated and cast his blame on her. Promise did not know what to do and accepted the way he treated her for the duration of their relationship. Regardless of how he treated her, she then decided to marry him thinking that their love and her care for him would change the situation. The marriage was very abusive and it changed nothing. The abuse continued and partially because she was now also attending Support Groups for persons living with HIV/Aids.

Both Promise and her husband received HIV counselling and were given information regarding the necessity of practising safer sex. This didn`t help much as her husband still forced her into unprotected sex, something common in rural areas, claiming that he paid lobola to "own" her body. Her life became an endless circle of Abuse and Rape caused by her own husband. This would normally happen when he was drunk, seeking sex. The abuse  eventually became too much for Promise and she left her husband, moving back with her parents. According to their custom, She knew that she was bringing shame and disgrace to her family but had no other choice to move away from it all.

Three months later, Promise became very ill and the doctors diagnosed her with cervical cyst. She was hospitalized so that the cyst could be removed surgically. The doctors also found out that she was pregnant, but Promise decided another child could not be afforded and cared for due to her illness and requested that the pregnancy be terminated. 

The story of Promise highlights some of the negative aspects and issues of being a woman living with HIV/AIDS in the townships and rural areas and the negative stigma`s associated with living with HIV/AIDS. It must be said that HIV can be treated and you can live a long and healthy lifestyle regardless of your illness. Have Yourselves tested and know your status. If you are negative, stay negative, use protection and be aware of the dangers of having unprotected sex. 

If you find out that you are HIV positive, seek medical help, eat healthy, attend support groups and help others in fighting the stigma associated with the virus. 

Sources:

• Abanet.org
• Positive Nation
• HST.org.za

Page Updated: 06 July 2010