Ever had a quarrel with difficult neighbours? Sleeping was on your agenda for the evening, but your neighbours' party is only starting to really get going by 01h00 am and their music or vuvuzelas reverberating through the neighbourhood.

While noise is often the source of problems, littering, dogs, prying, theft and jealousy can also be the cause of dispute amongst neighbours. Our homes are our castles, it is where we should get some peace of mind and relax. Sour relations with your neighbors can turn your home into a place of constant stress.

Packing bags and move away is not always the best option unless you are able to pay property agents, furniture removers, advance rentals, refundable deposits etc. To save yourself the inconvenience and hassles of moving away, you should hold your ground, painful though this may be.

Acknowledge that people are like chalk and cheese. Susan Erasmus says that your opera music might be as offensive to them as their Whitney Houston CDs are to you.

Be a good example and practice what you preach. If you are planning a party or any occasion, tell your neighbours in advance. If people are put on alert, they are less likely to complain. It also makes them feel as if you are considering their needs and sets the tone for the neighbourhood.

Accept that people are often blind to the mistakes of their pets and their children. The children and the dogs next door are unaware of you and your desire for silence. Although it might not feel that way, they are not intentionally distressing you.

An appropriate and polite conversation. A discussion with the neighbours might sort out the problem. If you don't want to discuss, write a letter. Don't be forceful or insulting or threatening, as this will not get their support.

Caution!!!

Do not become too friendly, too familiar or too intimate with your neighbours until you have known them for at least three years. Neighbours have been known to invade your house at all hours, and take borrowing habit to a new level.

When there's a knock on the door, never open it wide and invite the visiting neighbour in. Open it an inch or two, inspect the person as if you suspect his motives and then step outside to enquire what s/he wants.

Keep your neighbour's children at a tolerable distance. The younger they are the greater should be the distance. This will help to avoid your neighbour's children repeatedly knocking at your door, with expectant eyes.

If your neighbours are fighting, never interfere or else you will end up in a hospital bed.

For more tips, click on the following links

• Health24
• The Star
• SMH
  

Updated: 09 July 2010

by Zanele Matshotyana