Life can be tough, and you sometimes come across situations or people who can crack open up your head and pour in burning oil. How do you respond to these situations?

Whatever you do, you must always remember that we all have different personalities and different ways of expressing our emotions. Managing emotions takes skill and intelligence.

There are people who really control their emotions.  These people remain calm in extremely stressful situations. Instead of getting angry and screaming, they have the ability to look at a problem from all directions and peacefully come up with a solution. They're exceptional decision makers, and they know when to trust their instincts. Despite of their strong points, they are willing to look at themselves frankly and take criticism well, and they know when to use criticism to improve their performance. People like this have a high degree of emotional intelligence. I wish I could rate my self as an emotional intellectual, don't you? Nevertheless, how do we define Emotional Intelligence?

Emotional intelligence is defined as the ability to recognize and understand your personal feelings as well as of those surround you. Emotional intelligence (EI) means recognizing emotions and acting on them in a reflective and proper manner. It involves self-awareness, understanding, and self-restraint. EI can greatly improve interpersonal communication and people skills in the workplace or in any form of a relationship.

How do you enhance your EI?

In order to improve your IE you must have the following characteristics:

Motivation, self regulation, self awareness, empathy and social skills; however, you can still learn and develop emotional intelligence if:

• Observe how you react to people and try to put yourself in their place.
• Look at your work environment. Give others a chance to shine - put the focus on them, and don't worry too much about getting praise for yourself.
• Do a self-evaluation. What are your weaknesses?
• Examine how you react to stressful situations. Keep your emotions under control when things go wrong.
• Take responsibility for your actions. If you hurt someone's feelings, apologize directly- don't ignore what you did or avoid the person.
• Examine how your actions will affect others- before you take those actions. If your decision will impact others, put yourself in their place.

Key note

Emotional Intelligence is a key to a harmony living and achieving your goals. It also means that you value others, listen to them and are able to sympathize with them in many levels.

You can take Emotional Intelligence Test to evaluate several aspect of your emotional intelligence:

If you want in-depth knowledge you can read the history and some theories on Emotional Intelligence, click on this link:

This article is cited from Mind Tools, 2010.

 Updated: 29 July 2011

 by Zanele Matshotyana