Do you ever feel like beating your annoying colleague? Screaming at your boss or smashing a printer? If there's one thing in business that's inevitable, it's quarrels between co-workers. Loud telephone conversations are bound to flare up, arguments over work duties, bad working habits, or dirty dishes in the kitchen sink, or negative co-workers who always complain about anything on earth, the list is endless. More often such minor conflicts blow over quickly with little or no intervention by the management.

But life is like that and we are human beings because we have reasons and emotions. If our professional life is driving us nuts, our personal life can be a living hell as well. Now, how to strike a balance in our emotions? Knowing in advance what to do to settle such differences will benefit your entire office in the long run. Revenge fantasies can be therapeutic and satisfying, but the best ways to handle a conflict with your colleagues are to:

Step 1: Identify your coworker/boss's misbehavior. By understanding this behavior you will need to not take it personally any more.

Step 2: Remember, self respect means realizing the fact that in spite of all your imperfections, you are a worthwhile human being.

Step 3: You have been taking coworker/boss's angry remarks personally, and trying to give him reasons to let him understand your point. Reason has nothing to do with his anger and his statements. Spot yourself taking his statements personally and trying to make him understand your points...then stop doing so.

Step 4: You are NOT avoiding or denying the fact. You are just gaining the power of being logical, so that you do not overreact. You are choosing to deal appropriately with misconduct.

Step 5: Now, try to figure out what kind of reaction they expect when they do the misbehavior? Anger, threatening, begging, flattering; that means they expect misbehavior from us, so that we feel weak and ashamed in our own eyes.

Step 6: Our goal is to respond to their mischief with self respect so that they cannot harm us. When the self respect is hurt, we lose peace of mind and our worth.

Step 7: Start responding in an unexpected way. They do not expect us to agree with them. No, you do not have to agree with them; just allow them to feel the way they want.

Say "I do not blame you for being angry. I would feel the same if I were you." Let him understand that you are giving him respect in spite of his imperfections.

Step 8: Ask him to talk when he will be cool enough to discuss the matter, and ask him what actions should be taken to change the situation. Talk in a professional way, impersonating the whole issue, and talk to affect him.

Step 9: Agree to them on the fact that if you give them what they want, it would be nice. This will give him some relief from their painful anger while we stand on our ground. But you have not said that you will do whatever he wants.

Step 10: Your behavior would be of a person who is strong enough not be provoked by boss's and coworker's anger mischief. You are standing strong with self respect by answering to their questions, not being hostile but in a morally superior way. Cited: EzineArticles, 2011.

Sources:

• EzineArticles
• ehow.com
• inc.com

Page Updated: 05 February 2012.